Death

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Self-imposed Punishments
Death
antrazi
Self-imposed Punishments
Dean & John, Sometimes he needed that, being punished for all his failures


"I did something really wrong. Will you punish me?" The voice sounded broken and tired.

It wasn't something he talked about. This need he felt, the desire to be punished for everything he did wrong. But sometimes it was to strong and he needed the release, the knowledge that he would be forgiven.

Strong hands sorted the body and laid him in position, bare ass in his lap so he could swat away.
They just did that when this was necessary, when the other one felt like such a fuck-up nothing else helped anymore. They didn't talk about it, and they always made sure Sam wouldn't find out. The youngest Winchester wouldn't understand.
At least with this, Sam leaving for Stanford had made it easier.

The swats with the hands were a relief, a cleansing of his mind. It was forgiven, he was Okay, everything would be all right now.
A tiny part of his mind wondered if he had needed this had he lived a normal life, had their family never been broken the way it had. Did it really matter? He knew that this helped him, saved him from his own mind. The knowledge that he would always be forgiven helped him during the uncertainty of hunts.
He felt the spanking change, it wasn't a hand anymore but the brush. His bottom and the beginning of his thighs tingled and felt hot, He couldn't see the rosy color but the feel of it was more than enough.
A relaxed sigh and a few soundless tears.
Strong hands fixed him in position and helped him back in his clothes. They both knew the procedure, he didn't want anything to help his bottom, he needed to feel the sting for a few days. A reminder of sorts. He felt better now.

The two big male bodies arranged themselves in a new familiar position. One on the chair, the other sitting in his lap, one swaying the other in a soothing motion and patting the others shoulders, the only sounds the little broken sobs and the soft repeated phrase. "It's Okay, Dad. You are forgiven. Everything is all right."

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*GASP!*

Okay, I did NOT see THAT twist coming......

Good, I wanted it to be a surprise...

Okay, I don't usually read, but this was so short and had my magic word - I had to peek ;)

I have a serious thing for situations in which Dean asks for a spanking - where he's seeking that physical pain to help him move past the mental pain he can't escape. And I love this because I also have a serious thing for unhealthy codependency between John and Dean and love them doing this for each other.

They both carry so much guilt they just can't let go of through traditional means and with no one else to trust I love that they're able to turn to each other and allow themselves to be so vulnerable with each other. It's also so true to their characters that it would just be something they did for each other without talking about it - because for them, this is easier than talking.

Suffice it to say, I love the scenario - and if I can sneak in a pimp - we'd love to have this one cross-posted over at spn_spankings.

Wow, just this one measly word and you read something? ;)
Thank you. It was actually really weird to write this fic, both for the fact that I never read a fic where the spankee asks for the spanking (in a non-sexual way) or where Dean spanks John so it's good to see that it worked.
And - it's cross-posted

Spanking + discipline = instant win ;) Non-sexual spanking between adult John and Dean is something I can never get enough of and when Dean asks for it either from John or Sam... ♥ Even I've never considered reversing the positions, but it has fascinating character implications and I like it!

Wow, so unexpected!
Loved it!
Short and sweet.:)

Wow! Never suspected the ending. Loved the fic and the writing. Loved all the emotions surrounding the spanking. Wow!

As I said in my other comment, I have read at least one other fic where, in that case Dean, felt he needed a non-sexual spanking and John understood his boy, and saw to it that he got it.
Great story here, blew me away!


Edited at 2012-11-28 03:24 pm (UTC)

Thanks. Like I said, never searched for spanking fics before, will correct that

Very interesting, and the twist took me completly by surprise!

Perfect! Loved that John needs this as well but what a big responsibility to put on the already over-burdened Dean! Makes me sad but it's good too! Great read!

Thanks. Given the way Dean lives I expect he doesn't even see that as a responsibility, just a way to help his Dad.

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